Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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