my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
