Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
