I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
