yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
hell yes lets make some ravioli
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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