8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
