Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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