It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
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