I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
handjob tips. give me some.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
