Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I love black thongs
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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