how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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