Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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