i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
