So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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