I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
