Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
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