would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Randomize
