YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
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