Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
