Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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