I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
