i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
