The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Randomize
