I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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