I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
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