Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
