Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize