He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Randomize
