The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
