I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I wish i was in the wii world.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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