i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Randomize