Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
