You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
