I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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