just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
