Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
