I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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