I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
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