i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Randomize
