It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
