All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize