When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Randomize