I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
