Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Randomize