I cannot find my penis.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
