Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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