Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
porn star boner night. come get it.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
