D3 body, D1 cock
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
