Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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