She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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