I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize