also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
where are my pants?
in the oven.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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