i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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