i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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