At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
