i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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