Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
In America we eat man semen.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
