ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
