O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
