From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
