PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Randomize
