i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
