you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
