And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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