Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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