but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
