i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
she pinky promised me she was 18
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Randomize